If guns are the problem, more guns 

are definitely the answer.

ARM YOURSELF ~ inspired by the Newtown CT Sandy Hook Elementary School Massacre (original protest music on YouTube by Grant William Brad Gerver)

The new global posture: LOOK DOWN, blocking out everything around you except texts.

You can now acquire "Texting Insurance" for nasty spills and unintended slapstick moments. 

I live in a "text-only" household. 

Well, at least you can't get pregnant from texting. Oh, you CAN?!! 

I don't go online. I don't text. I don't play video games. I am bored shitless.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 275 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

Greatest new dog name: "Fiscal Cliffy"

Wanna blow a teller's mind? Make a deposit into your savings account.

I wrap all my unpaid bills in lottery tickets hoping each will get the hint.

The ultimate addition of insult to injury: You're broke as hell but still vote Republican. 

My glass is always half full. Of what, I will not say.

Dude, do you know how many donuts you could've bought instead of all those lottery tickets?!

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

$250k Middle Class? I must be in Upper Poverty! (idea courtesy of Mitt Romney)

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

Latest thing to become obsolete: The great American job resume.

Life is full of paradoxes: While I do sunscreen the cat, I often forget to use it on myself.

We're running out of thin ice to skate on. 

I diligently used my GPS and still ended up in the wrong state.

Good news: I found a $20-dollar while riding my bike. Bad news: I inhaled it.
 
© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

I'm the only person in town with a lizard tail collection.

Astrophysicists make better lovers.

Come ride the brand-new Mount Everest Sherpa Tram!

Parked cars get the best mileage.

Don't cave to conspiracy theorists: We'll never run out of oil or water.

Worrying over things you can't control is still worth it.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

Like cockroaches, politicians will be the last humans standing when the world ends.

"Somewhere over the Bainbow..."

Genmoditarian: A person who only eats genetically modified foods.

When the TSA requires on-site colonoscopies, I'm done flying.

Resurrect FDR

Contrarian Humanitarian: I run a no-kill shelter for mice.  

Birth control unfairly limits the chances of ever reaching 1 trillion people.

The epitome of redundancy: "Lying Politician"

People get along better when they're heavily armed.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

How many gigs of storage does the average brain have?

You're always on camera. And yes, it could always go viral.

Biggest losers in the Digital Age: USPS and the pen industry.

Lance Armstrong didn't dope and I'm not overweight.

I try to exercise at least once a month.

"A trip to the dump clears the mind." -Norton Glossnagle

My school didn't have computers. They had these weird things called "books."

Can't we all just get along be Canadian?

Your Brain: The ultimate external hard drive.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

The biggest problem with Man is simply that he is human.

Don't you just love a good lard-infused extravaganza?

I'll quit whining when you quit yodeling.

Bound for Mexico to pursue employment.

Just quit my job (which was looking for a job).

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

Don't let little things like wholesale drought ruin your day.

I'm confident the economy will turn around in a few hundred years.

Talk about hard times: Had to sell one of my corporate jets.

Politics, religion, death & taxes: 4 great reasons to drink.

Economic Solution #1: Legalize counterfeiting.

Quit complaining and DO something. But WHAT?!!!

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

8-25-2012

Practice Safe Text

Living paycheck to paycheck: ah, the good old days. 

Dost thou care to indulge in thy greenest of leafy intoxicants?

Iron on + bills unpaid + gate open = VACATION!

Does anybody happen to know when my anniversary is? 

Hip new insult: "You worthless piece of Congress!"

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

8-24-2012

Beware the Romneypocalypse! 

CANINE SUFFRAGE MOVEMENT ~ working tirelessly for a dog's right to vote.  

A pessimistic optimist is one who believes he will get screwed, but it won't hurt too much.

When life gives you politicians, what kind of "ade" do you make?

I'm sick of recycling. Can't we just go back to wasting everything?

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

What if politicians actually came together for the good of The American People? (Yes, I am on LSD.)

Reason, compromise and consensus: They're just so archaic.

Congress: Where hopes and dreams go to die.

The American Political System: Lose-Lose

Deport lobbyists to Guantanamo

Weather Report: 100% chance of heavy greed with no letup in sight.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

8-22-2012

Ahhhhh, the smell of cat pee coffee in the morning...

"I have loved and I have lost...I have invested and I have lost...I was found but now I'm lost..." --Cubs' Fan Oath 

Gretchen, what's with the Tsetse flies?!

Thin people suck.

FIVE servings of fruits and vegetables??!! Only if they're covered in fudge.  

the middle class HAS JUST ABOUT BEEN VAPORIZED.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

8-21-2012

Gawd, DOGS even love Republicans!

My dog kicks ass at Hacky Sack.

Dogs train people, not vice versa. 

Three Shih Tzus and a cloud a' dust...

My dogs eat better than me and I'm damn proud of it.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

8-20-2012

"Dopetimism": Hoping marijuana will be legalized.

When it to comes fossil fuel pollution, blame dinosaurs.

UH-OH: Caffeine has just been reclassified as a narcotic.

Addicted to Sobriety

I contribute all my Powerball jackpots to charity.

Scientific facts are misguided.

What dogs think about obedience training: "Don't hound me, man."

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-19-2012 ~

The Romney/Ryan Platform: 

"Free cake for every American."

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-18-2012 ~

I'll give up my remote when I get a job or you pull it from my cold dead hands, whichever comes first.

I suppress my appetite by watching FOX News.

Did you know that satellite dishes are the perfect place to hide your valuables? Damn, I just gave it away.

DVR angst: If I record it, will I ever watch it?

Give me Liberty...and while you're at it, a job and health care.

Ya gotta love Congress: We pay 'em big bucks for life to step on our heads. 

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-18-2012 ~

Romney/Ryan: "We'll show you the details at the end of our first term."

Why should Romney divulge his tax returns? He'd lose! Can't a guy take "The Fifth" anymore?

For politicians, honesty is never the best policy. It's just too messy.

Voting is the ultimate exercise in futility. Watching football makes far better sense.

Everyday is Christmas for the Elite. For the rest of us, it's trash day.

AMERICA: "Land of Opportunity"

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting. Filibi.com : Find It, Love It, Buy It.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-17-2012 ~

Live better through austerity and

misery: Vote Republican

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-17-2012 ~

If you want good mileage, ride a bike. Laugh maniacally as you pass gas stations.

Trying to make money online is like trying to train your dogs: IT AIN'T HAPPENIN'!

Beware of  "Mr. Snotty!"

Can't see the forest for the corruption.

Greed is the antidote to freedom.

Jobs are about as scarce as honest politicians.

Open space is a terrible thing to waste: Develop the shit out of it.

"Moral Values" are lies in disguise. 

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-17-2012 ~

Fracking Enthusiast

I collect molecules.

I do not watch reality TV shows. I already live in one.

Just another broke day in paradise.

Flipped out? Have you tried cheesecake? What about  a buffet?

Living in the present moment is hell on nostalgia.

All I gotta do is find somebody to blame and Voila!

Love is stronger than money. But, is it stronger than NO money?

Earthquake Chaser

My house is available to paint for free.

Will they be having Medical Cocaine Cards any time soon?

I love a Country that gives the poor what they need most: more casinos.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock,folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-15-2012 ~

FIRE CONGRESS! I mean it.

I am so done with Facebook.

I'm doubling a penny everyday for a month so I can be a millionaire.

Remember when Government actually worked for The People? We weren't even born yet. 

Addicted to justice, fairness and chocolate.

Why vote? Don't know. Don't care.
 

Talk about taxation without representation. Didn't they once have a Revolution because of it? 

The Rainforest is becoming the "Painforest." It's vanishing before our very eyes. 

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock,folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-13-2012 ~

The Environment is our play toy to do with as we please. It's just easier that way.

Gas isn't overpriced. It's overused.

How about this weird notion: If it's an American company, its goods have to be produced IN AMERICA.

Yes Virginia, more regulation must come into play, and evil loopholes must go away. Now go to sleep. 

America: The game is rigged and the deck is stacked.

  

 © 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock,folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" ~ 8-12-2012 ~

Mommy, why are most of the bad people Republicans?

You can take away my house. You can take away my job. You can take away my dignity. But you can not take away my football.

Born to raise hemp.

Car carries no foreign dignitaries.

I brake for wads of cash.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock,folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-12-2012 ~

Karmageddon

We must stop whining and start revolting.

Hippies had it right all along.

Yes, I speak Yiddish.  

Have you hugged your smart phone today?

The first three letters in CONgress say it all.

Don't forget to trim those nose hairs.

Remember the good ol' days? Me either.

The only safe place to put your money: 
Bank of Mymattress 

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock,folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-11-2012 ~

Devout Doubter

Dieting is the very least of my concerns.

There's always room for one more pet.

Stop worrying and start obsessing.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock,folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-11-2012 ~

I do not believe in science. It always gets in the way.

Honesty is apparently overrated. 

"Government of the people, by the people, for the people." (Well, for 1% of 'em anyway.)

Mother Nature is just one more over-regulated entity standing in the way of profits. 

I snort high fructose corn syrup.

Who doesn't kiss their dogs on the lips?

Praying Atheist

Professional Protestor for Hire

Caution: Driver only wears costume jewelry.

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock,folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~ 8-10-2012

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.

I have a love-hate relationship with love and hate.

Blame a Republican

I never met a dog I didn't like.

If things keep going like they're going, it'll be summer all year long! 

I never text and drive. Reading the Bible is another matter.

 

"The Farting Brain" Bumper Stickers ~8-10-2012

© 2012 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All Rights Reserved. If you care to reproduce any of these as bumper stickers or for any other project, I am very open to working with you: seriouskidding@gmail.com ) ---- "Blues Lunatic~Idiot Stick Videos": Tons of original acoustic blues, rock, folk tunes, protest songs, off-the-wall humor & Shih Tzus. 271 videos & counting.
 

Republicans truly ARE the ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE.  

Capitalism excludes you and me.

FREE to be POOR

If everybody had a fair shot and were provided for like they deserve, this Country would kick major league ass. 

Hopes and dreams have been replaced by mopes and screams.